Friday, 18 November 2016

Hair woes




You might have seen or heard me mention this patch of hair at the back of my hair that just won’t grow in a blog post or video but after taking down my first set of braids a few weeks ago, I realised that this phenomenon may not necessarily be confined to just that area.

Oh, where are are my manners, Hello. Its been a while. Life recently threw me some major curveballs. Damn near put my academics into serious jeopardy but I'm happy to say I've managed to remedy the situation and I'm eligible to write exams for all of my modules. The curve balls however are the tricky kind, very hard to duck. . .or take a good swing at. I've totally destroyed that expression. *shrug*. Anyways, back to the hair





Sure I’m focusing on the health of my hair but I can’t say I have managed to completely silence the voice at back of my head that incessantly swoons at the ''could be" length of my coils. I have been daydreaming of the weight of my massive afro finally giving up its desperate fight against gravity and joining the dance of the wind while I’m out picking mealies from our garden this festive season but my progress is proving to be a disappointing. Yeah you heard me, I spend my festive season hoeing the ground emasimini with a 20 litre bucket of water permanently stuck to my head.
Having a gravity defying head of hair is exciting and all but I miss my massive puff and the feeling of my coils grazing my ear and the back of my neck. Where the hell did all my hair go? Whats with the stunted growth? All I can manage now are the same 2 flat twists I did back when I decided to stay off the weave for a while, except thinner. No progress whatsoever

2014 Gym bunny hair
Current hair. . .tragic


The only conclusion I can draw is that there's somethings going on inside me. See,when I was really into working out and sweating all the time, my hair grew like it was on steroids so its only natural that I assume my recent weight gain or my very poor university diet has something to do with this. Seriously, it’ll be a miracle if my insides haven’t turned into noodles. The usual state of our residence kitchen kills whatever motivation I have to cook a decent meal and let me tell you, cleaning up after grown a$S men gets tiring at some point.
Or it could be that chilli infused avocado oil I've been using on my hair. But for real though, none of yall noticed the writing on the bottle in one of the pictures floating around the blog and found it odd? Couldn't give me a heads up? I was already halfway through the bottle when I noticed this mess. No wonder my face tingled when I used the oil to remove my makeup.





After taking my twists down and my usual wash, protein + moisture deep conditioning routine, air drying and 5 day break, I got another set of twists installed for a number of reasons.

  • I’m hella busy. I don’t have the time or energy to be re-twisting and braiding my hair every night.
  •   I’m protective styling for length retention and also to switch it up. I’ve been in my own hair for over a year now, I thinK I deserve a switch up
  • There’s a looota moisture in the air and shrunken hair don’t look good on me
  •  I work out and that means sweat which is moisture which shrinks hair, which doesn’t suit me 
  •  I have to wash my hair more often not that its warmer and I work out and I sweat, and washing hair shrinks it and shrunken hair don’t suit me so I need to keep it stretched while still having access to my scalp and and and. . .see where I’m going with this? Its a protective style life for me





For now, I’m going read up on some of my favourite natural hair bloggers and try to find some way to break this frustrating plateaux, moisturise and  massage my scalp more often and continue working out at the gym. I might even pop by dischem for some essential oils. I heard lavender, tea tree and rosemary oils do wonders for blood circulation and growth.
Has your hair ever hit a plateaux? How did you break it? Help igyal out with some recommendtions  in the comments.

See ya.


Monday, 19 September 2016

Going Back To The Gym. . .AGAIN

Hi. I'm a fat girl and I want to go back to the gym.
...and when the slurs turned into complements, it freaked me out and I stopped going to the gym all together.I just wanted to gain my weight back because I was having a hard time navigating people's newfound kindness towards me.

I get tired to quickly and easily, my skin isn't as glowy as it it used to be, my jeans don't fit me no more and there's this patch of hair that just refuses to grow at the same rate as the rest of my hair. I want to go back to working out and this time, I want to make it a commitment as a lifestyle.There I said it. The plus size girl wants to go back to the gym and stay there.This decision is by no means coming from a place 'hating' being a big girl or tired of being plus size but from a place of love for myself and my jeans. I have made 3 attempts at healthy-curves journey in the past 3 years, all of which have ended up in self sabotage.

To give you a bit of  a background, I first joined a gym when I first moved to Durban and exercised almost everyday for a few months and lost quite a bit of weight  working out alone. No pressure, no goals, just pushing my body and enjoying the endorphin highs. Inevitably the shape of my body and believe it or not face 'improved' due to the weight loss and I noticed a change in the way people interacted with and treated me. They were a whole lot nicer and I did not know why.  Being 17 years old and very awkward at the time, I had grown accustomed to a certain level of unpleasantness and hostility from people because of my looks, or lack thereof, and fully understood and accepted that I was societies zit on the forehead. My mantra was 'people who look better get treated better' and when the slurs turned into complements, it freaked me out and I stopped going to the gym all together. I just wanted to gain my weight back and wanted things to go back to the way they were before because I was having a hard time navigating people. I stopped working out and in about 4 months, things were 'back to normal' with a 10KG basela.




As an ugly ducklings it never occurred to me that I might 'glow up' into an okayish looking girl. My physical appearance didn't afford me the luxury of basic human empathy.The saying ''if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it all'' didn't apply to me. People, strangers and otherwise coming up to me and calling me ugly and fat was a common occurrence. Why they thought I didn't know that is beyond me. I owned mirrors you know, not that I liked them but I owned them anyways. It was a filter. Navigating people was as simple (hard?) as guilty until proven innocent. My guard was always up. Everyone was a monster and anything otherwise was a very pleasant surprise. Basically, my appearance was a filter.
With my filter compromised, I had to do the manual labour of  paying attention to detail and reading into people who treated me with this sudden human decency and questioned their sincerity. I hated the fact that my changing physically was what earned me this newfound graciousness people suddenly had towards me and I wanted it to stop.Even if it cost me something that I had come to enjoy. And those endorphins. Those glorious feel good endorphins.


This cycle repeated itself two more times  (read here) all of which ended in self sabotage and between those time I have learned the importance of the psychological state of mind and have truly grown to love, respect and accept my body exactly the way it is right now, deliberately. As flawed as I am, I have never really hated my body and was and still am very aware of my flaws, I just didn't love it as deliberately as I should.As a measure that will force me to be consistent and not give in to the pressure of just quitting when people start being nicer again, I'm going to start incorporating fitness into my blog under the #healthycurves label that has been empty since  last year and also vlogging it on my channel.



And now, to explore this fat guilt I'm feeling for the contradiction that is preaching body positivity and fat acceptance why outchea hlasering my mafutha's. . .somebody please help me unfuck my mind. Maybe I'll do a blog post about it so go ahead and subscribe to the blog ye gyal.
See ya.

Friday, 26 August 2016

Friday ootd : Sporty chic Goon

The last time this skirt made an appearance on my blog, it was styled with a white off the shoulder top, some gladiator sandals and a very poorly fed afro puff held back by a headband I have since banished from my belongings. I know I want to try this girly girl thing but floral? really? It might have worked with bigger hair but the look was downright mediocre and for what it was worth, I didn't do it any justice. Seriously, that thing cost me an arm and a leg, it was the only skirt of its kind at the time, what was I supposed to do?

Look, I have to try this clubbing thing, do it right and see if I enjoy it. I don't want to be 30 tal'mbout 'Turn uuup!!'. nah, I need to get this out of my system now. . .you know, after I find it, that is if its even in there. What is ''it'' vele? smh

Well, I'm glad to say that its back and has give me my moneys worth.This time, I styled it with this loose mesh tee I picked up from Mr price the other day. I made a mental note to keep the price tag on at the time because I honestly did not know how I was going to make it work. It reminded me of those mesh vests abo knife wielding malume goons pair with those blue pants except, you know, bigger holes. I really hated those, handwashing them is no joke! Anyways, it was only when I tried it on with some stuff from legit when I actually saw that it could work. Now I'm praying I find a  black one. It would just be. . .yeeeses!!












Now the plan for this outfit was to wear it on campus during the day, shoot as many clips as I possibly can for my upcoming ''I need advice'' social experiment series, turn up edition and transition it into a night time clubbing outfit, vlog it and have a chit chat video about my experience.  Look, I have to try this clubbing thing, do it right and see if I enjoy it. I don't want to be 30 tal'mbout 'Turn uuup!!'. nah, I need to get this out of my system now. . .you know, after I find it, that is if its even in there. What is ''it'' vele? smh. See why I need to do this 'I need advice' series? The art of turning up is not one to be gone into as blindly as I did today when I rocked up alone, without a game plan, without a squad and without a hype. There was no performance lineup, no flyers, fokol! I didn't even make it into the damn place.  *sigh* Go ahead, laugh at me. I know you want to. I failed. Again.
That's kinda how I managed to get time to even write this post.

So here I am, sporty chic goonin, right pumpkin flourishing and all that. *cues bula boot by Priddy ugly*





Are you caving the shoes though? I Don't know what they are called but combat boots took away from the sporty look I was trying to go for.  These kinda say 'yeah I'm chilled but if sh*t pops off, I'm ready to 
a) pop off too.
b) run. That right, run. Our racist neighbours dog ensure my daily training. You know, white people, we're going to have to talk about your dogs eventually.
These I picked up at legit. Now the only Thing missing from my little creation is my knobkerrie Malcolm X the enforcer. I hope I find I soon.
So what do you think? how would you have styled this top and skirt?

Stay blessed. . .I mean by God or the universe. Although I'm not one to judge if you prefer a worldly blesser. Okay, I need a new ending phrase. help?

Monday, 22 August 2016

OOTD : Channeling my inner Mona

*To be edited : more pics *

You know Mona, from half and half. Big hair, bigger boots, sistah sans soul, a perfectly organised awkward mess who just didn't know how to respond to good mojo because she attracts life's curveballs like a magnet! That Mona. Well she was my favourite character in, dare I say it, all of television. I damn near broke the wifi scouring the interwebs for a full picture of her but I had to resort to screenshots of the show on youtube (Yep, I still indulge) and made a Gif fully describing  what it is about her that resonates with me. This will be on the gram soon!







How I managed to watch the American show is a bit of a blur to me because if I remember correctly, we didn't have Dstv back then but whatevs, details don't matter. That girl was my heroine. She was the underdog that seemed to almost never catch a break from life, was a bit socially awkward, choked on grapes and had to have her mother call in before meals to reminding her to cut her food up, I could relate to the chick.
Her style was also right up my alley. Did I ever tell you about my rock chick phase? Well, I don't think it was a phase because I still find myself fantasizing about my next visit to Iron Fist and going back on time to that Linkin park Jay z concert. *Cues numb encore* Her chunky often heavily buckled boots gave me that evanescence slash Aaliyah 'get yourself up and try again' vibe whose style I was often told I could never rock because because 1), I was fat and 2) was broke and 3) they just didn't make clothes like that in those days.



           *still relying on video stills. It's days like these when I wish I had my own photographer*






Okay look, I could've done better with the top. I can admit that. The off the shoulder cut and chiffon material were perfect because I really wanted to go crazy with these chokers from Mr price but I'm just not feeling the cut at the torso and the pleated-ruffle-fluff type situation at the bottom of the top. It just cuts the outfit off in a very rude manner instead of easing into the skirt which was the intended star of the show. Plus I'm already wide at the hips, It brings more attention to them. Don't get me wrong, the length is perfect, its the choice of cut I have a problem with. I even altered the top a tad, can you tell in the bottom video? I got this baby from Mr price on clearance so you just might find it. Also, try Brett Robsons shop. She's a fellow blogger and fashion designer.


It simply refused to zip up but I wasn't having it! I bought that sucker, took it to a friend, made some tweaks and slid right into it. You didn't win Satan! Not today! So to all my plus size ladies, remember ALTERATIONS ALTERATIONS ALTERATIONS!



Mona would often pair her walkers with simple mini skirts and I was for it! I don't know why but love me a good sgqebhe. My thunder thighs need to flourish man. I saw this beauty displayed ever so beckoningly at The Fix's (previously fashion express) display window while grocery shopping and had to have it. Do you know how long I have been itching style up a 90's -2000's look? My prayers have been answered!!
With My recent weight gain, the skirt, which was their largest size did not fit me. It simply refused to zip up but I wasn't having it! I bought that sucker, took it to a friend, made some tweaks and slid right into it. You didn't win Satan! Not today! So to all my plus size ladies, ALTERATIONS ALTERATIONS ALTERATIONS! That little idea of getting a sewing machine for myself is really growing on me now. . .



Last but not least are the boots. I actually wanted knew high platform boots but I had to work with what I have and these were just going to have to do. I sure do envy you joburg people. You guys have everything up there. I might do a Mini hunt for them in Durban when I get the chance and shmoney. The 90's may be on trend right now but trust me, They're a preferred style to me. They'll be a good investment.

I finished of the look with some hoops and nude makeup which completely melted off and proceeded to flourish.. I'll never forget how good I felt. It was a good day that day that skirt is going to be a star on this blog! What do you think?



Stay blessed

Saturday, 13 August 2016

New additions to my Makeup collection

The memes say your make-up is only as good as your brushes. And you know what they say about the memes, always always believe the memes.

 Beauty on a budget and spoiled for choice rarely ever make it to the same sentence and the former often means a compromising on quality, which makes me wonder how I am ever going to review my picks when I've never used the "good" stuff. Wait a minute. . .I just cooked an evil diabolical scheme that just might make that possible! It involves a detour to Gateway in Durban on my way back to school, and Mac cosmetics. Skhotheni on another level sana. Stick around ! That review is going to happen.



Anyways, since my not so pleasent experience with eco-tools brushes, I've been hunting for some good affordable eye makeup brushes and because, look, that cut crease fomo has had me camping on our girl Nicole Khumalos insta and channel, gearing up for when I find the answer to my woes. Smokey eye ain't a smokey eye if you ain't smoke it out. The YouTube fam suggested the very elusive beautique brushes which I first got my hands on a few months back at Midlands mall. Granted they weren't what I was looking for or a must have in my growing makeup kit, but I knew I was going to start highlighting and contouring eventually so when I saw tools that affordable, I snatched em up. I can feel you judging me.

I got the cream contour brush for when I find the perfect product snatch these cheeks and the powder contour brush which I'm currently using for my highlight setting powder. I also got me a fan brush for bronzing or highlighting or strobing. (Which word is it people?) The glittery stuff that catches the sunlight.The only eye related tools I got that time were a liquid liner brush and an all over the eye shadow brush.

My second beautique haul was a stop I made to Edgars at the pavillion mall on my way Home for winter vac where I learned from a lovely lady at the Mac stall the difference between placement and blending brushes. How I ended up at that section is a mystery to me. I have no business ( nor funds) to be fantasizing about Mac products. I need to stay in my lane.

Beautique Crease shadow brush #18

I found the beautique brushes at the end of the make-up section freshly stocked on the morning of said day and managed to get the last of the number 18 brush which was apparently selling like hotcakes. See? Surely they're doing something right.
Its dome shape looks like it'll be perfect for picking up and depositing transitioning and blending shades. (psst, I've used its already, its pretty decent).It also does a fair amount of blending without completely fading away the pigment of the eyeshadow unlike that eco tools brush. Look, you're going to have to keep a lookout for my YouTube videos for this to make sense. Subscription nyana comrade?

Lancome shadow blending brush #17

 This baby  made me cry a bit because it set me back uncomfortable amounts of Randelas but was totally worth it. This blending aka fluffy brush will blend the heck out of eyeshadow. Shimmer, Velvet, matte; bring it! This little thing will make those eyeshadows melt together and any eye makeup look will be well together.


Another brush I got is the crease blending brush. Whose crease I'll be using this one on remains a mystery to be uncovered coz like, I've got hooded eyes and there's stuff where my crease should be. It looks like the perfect tool for blending that cut crease or placing shades in the outer v of the eye though, we'll see.

Beautique Eye smudger brush  #16

This smudge brush has taken my eyeliner game to the next level. I often neglect my lower lash line and this baby is giving it some much needed love and makes my eye look a lot more. . .there.

Beautique Concealer brush #9

I haven't quit had the pleasure or finances of experimenting with cream eye shadows just yet but when I do, the cream shadow brush will be waiting to help do the job. For now, it primary purpose is patting down concealer on those larger highlight zones like the cheeks, chin and forehead The nose bridge and fleeking of the brows are left to the actual concealer brush.

Last but not least is this beauty blender by beauty professionals  I picked up which will be replacing my busted up old one and this bomb @$S highlighter from the body shop which is, dear I say it, a dupe for one of Macs mineralised something somethings. I forgot to heck for the name. What evil spirit possessed me to start browsing for Mac highlighter is yet to be exorcised out of me. My bank account is not at mac level yet fam. Levels.

Anyways, those were my picks. And like I said, that review is coming so stick around. Ya girl has been holidaying for a while now but I'm back and have some cool posts lined up. Until then, See you in my next blog  post.
The onesie awaits.
Stay blessed.

PS, did anybody cav the reed mat /ukhukho/icansi I used as a background for my photos? 😂😂
 Us farm Julia's should be kept away from nice things.




Monday, 27 June 2016

#wariscoming

For as long as I have had this blog, I have wanted to share my body positive journey, fat girl stuff and the other not so cute "all sizes are beautiful" part sof body acceptance and self love that I had not yet seen in the South African Plus size blogosphere. You can imagine my joy when I found a blog by Nomali (from Sowetooo)


I talked myself out of hitting the publish button on the many rants, raves and milestones i now have saved as drafts by convincing myself that I was not knowledgeable enough on body politics of women, fat women to be precise, to do the topics any justice, despite being a fat black woman who has had a front row seat of the ugliness and damage the European and societal standards of size and beauty can, and still do have, even within these so called safe spaces for bigger women. I was so afraid that someone somewhere might feel as though I am shading them for the contribution (whether intentional or not) they have made towards the "intra-plus size community" discrimination, body policing and exclusion. Also, I just didn't want to put myself out there like that man.



Now all that bs has been piling up in my head and I'm afraid with the amount of carbonyl chemistry and mechanisms I have memorised this semester  I have to free some memory; for my own sanity, and also for a younger me who felt the term "plus size" communities excluded her and a bunch of peers whose bodies didn't necessarily fit into what is now the "acceptable kind of fat". I'm talking body size, shape, and even facial exclusion. That's right. It seemed me that If you aren't pretty enough to make up for your fatness, you're the bad kind of fat that needs to go to the gym to balance that out. Heck, even classism can easily cause a divide, a huge rift between women just looking for a space where they can be celebrated  without having to compensate or bash somebody else to be uplifted. If you're the "men like meat, dogs like bones" type of chick, kindly click off. Xhosa pun intended. Wait. . . is there a pun in there?

I have been gathering my thoughts and critiquing myself and my way of thinking getting ready to put out content that is going to be true to me and hit home at the beginning of this vac and my timing couldn't have been more impeccable because there is a war coming. Lily sweetz and a bunch of other American plus size bloggers and youtubers have had had it up to here with people who capitalise on the insecurities caused by this intra-plus size politics and are coming for every bs 'pro fat' activist who has had nothing more to offer bigger women except insecurities, products and more insecurities. Her instagram page is lit af.



I plan on using this as a learning experience that will sort of guide me so I don't become one of those clique blogger chicks who's content is doing more bad than good for bigger women out there. Basically, I don't wanna become one of those women or brands she's coming for.

My first step towards body positivity is republishing some old posts from when I was working out. Nobody could've prepared me for the mind-f*ckery I encountered as a big girl in the gym.

Now where is this rooibos. Your girl has to sip on this tea and learn something. Check her out at @fortheloveoflily. It is sooooo lit.
Stay blessed .

Saturday, 11 June 2016

Another winter haul

Hi. My name is Mvumikazi and I have a problem.At least 3 tomboys in me have died a terrible pink glitter covered lip stained death for every make-up haul. I have fallen in love with make-up. In my defence, this is what my mother wanted, for me to be a proper girl, and being  proper girl sure does cost proper money and we are still talking about drugstore/pharmacy products here. Thank God for the monthly allowance from my bursary.





I was looking for some winter wear  and again, was very disappointed when most of the clothing at retail stores either didn't fit or flatter me. I managed to grab a few things from Mr Price  like this gorgeous red faux fur coat, little burgundy dress and tribal print bag which I featured in my previous lookbook post . I could go on and on how frustrating shopping as a fat woman is in this country but my tired is tired. That will be a post for another day.












After an unsuccessful hunt for more warm stuff, I popped into clicks just for control.
I am yet to see what ''make-up sliding off the face" looks like however, as a precautionary measure, I bought the primer along with the L'Oreal infallible foundation whose brand was very much in my  face all lit up for display in the make-up section at clicks. Congratulations marketing department, it worked. We'll see whether this melanin approves in a coming review so stick around with your girl. I also picked up some translucent loose powder "suitable for all skin tones" by revlon. Suitable for all skintones huh? We'll see.
Also, I finally have a matte purple lippie in my collection. Hello vamp it up.










 Remember how I felt about the beauty treats brand because of their 88 eyeshadow palette here?  This 130 professional pallet has officially redeemed it  and is now worthy to take up residence in black women's make-up collection. I'm not one to give beauty products second chances but after swatching some of the colours on this baby in store, I was sold. They are everything I could ever want in an eyeshadow pallet at a reasonable price. Awesome pigmentation with great colour payoff and minimal fallout and buildable. The shades here range from matte, velvety to shimmer. I used the reds in this pallet for the eye makeup in my previous video and was very happy with how it came together. I can't wait to try other palettes.Thank you dischem!

To complement these beautiful eyeshadow colours and my hooded eye shape, I got the number 153 eyelure falsies. They are wispy and shorter toward that inner corner of the eye and flare out in longer denser hairs towards the outer corner of the eye to open it up and create that cat-eye effect. Did I mention these are reusable? You can get at least 10 wears out of these babies if you treat them well. I can't stop batting my eyes now. . .












I was truly disappointed when the some of the eco-tools brushes I bought as an attempt at being environmentally conscious started malfunctioning on the third wash so I went on another hunt. Some other South African youtubers recommended that I try out the beautique brushes from edgars. I got these ones and am going to use them a few time before I give a full review on each and every single one of them






I saved this cute purse I got for buying those two L'Oreal products for last because I have absolutely no idea where I will carry it to. I can't eve gift it because I got a lipstick stain on the back of the white part that just won't go away. *sigh*





So what do you think? Do I have a problem? Is the purchasing a bit too much? Please don't tell my mother.
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